I have found some interesting things on co-dependency which had not occurred to me previously and will be putting your advice into action. My boyfriend and I fight all the time and I think it’s mostly my fault for not setting boundaries early on. We have broken up a couple times but only more recently have I been thinking seriously about making this permanent. He has lived with me on and off for most of our relationship and hasn’t had a job since we’ve been together. He has had occasional days here and there and has been very eager to work when it comes up so I do believe he is trying. When we fight about this – usually after me asking him to do some housework – he will hurl abuse at me before storming off for a day or two.
So before you go pointing fingers at all these women as bad and evil and unstable. Why don’t you REALLY examine the nice guy, and see if he’s really that nice. Phil, I wish I could take all the credit for my accuracy. Many men report on reading the stories of others who have been through one of these relationships that they feel like they were involved with the same woman.
How to Make a Bipolar Relationship Work
After a torrid, confusing three months she cooled it and we’re behaving as friends now for the most part. I give her support when she needs it and space when she needs it. I can do that because I figured out on my own she had the disorder, started understanding her, and I care about her. We became a sort of running joke with my friends based on how many times we were broken up or together. Our current status is apart, and after reading all of this I don’t think I have what it takes to pursue this, sadly.
How to Help a Loved One Find BPD Treatment
If you have a borderline personality disorder boyfriend or girlfriend, you will need to discover a way to manage your own actions in order to handle theirs. Developing coping skills for your partner’s outlandish conduct will help you maintain your sanity. The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors. People who have a first-degree relative with BPD are five times more likely to develop BPD themselves. Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions.
We give each other a bit of a hard time because it’s in our personality. We also have some personal goals that aren’t divergent which is probably a good thing. I’ve commented on here a couple times and I just wanted to pass along some information that may be helpful to others in similar situations.
The problem for me is I get incredibly bored when she isn’t infatuated with me. I don’t get clingy or pressure her into anything, I simply get bored and disappear for lengths of time. Which it turns out feeds into her crazy but it wasn’t intentional or calculated. Every time I tell her this however, she turns up the infatuation, and once my ego has been sufficiently fed she pulls back again.
In fact, you can’t be passive in ANY relationship. It just creates a toxic environment over time. Like your ex said, she needs you to put her in her place. I’ve heard that one multiple times from ex’s and I never understood it at the time. They WANT you to get aggressive and heated when they’re pissing you off.
She goes to therapy and claims she is bi-polar. This sweet girl I once knew had these skeletons in the closet I never knew she could have. I’m not as hung up on her as I once was, but I still think about her all the time…well, more often than flirt next door I would like to, anyway. I don’t even really want her to be my girlfriend anymore. Not looking for any advice or anything, just wanted to let some stuff out. I am a woman with BPD and your article presents a vilification of people like me.
This article can help you learn more about this disorder and offers recommendations for navigating your relationship while also providing emotional support to your partner. Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. They seek a person who can provide stability and to balance their changeable emotions. Narcissists and people who act self-sufficient and in control of their feelings provide a perfect match.
You’re seen as either for or against them and must take their side. Don’t dare to defend their enemy or try to justify or explain any slight they claim to have experienced. They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them. They may gaslight you to make you doubt reality and your sanity, even try to brainwash you. In their desperation for caring, they often behave in ways that feel like emotional manipulation and abuse.
He actually went after me for nearly a year before I finally began dating him. I would like to say that before him, I have tended to date men who were very abusive to me either physically or emotionally. So, it was difficult for me to begin dating my current boyfriend because he allowed me to walk all over him and I consequently didn’t respect him much. Most of the men I have dated I fell for hard and the break ups always destroyed me. When I first moved in with my current boyfriend, however, I didn’t feel the same feelings of love that I had for my previous exs.
All this in order to make her realize that she can’t live without me. BUT I am too afraid to do all these things because the contrast to what we are in now would be day and night. Her ex-boyfriend acted like he was James Bond, and she left him anyway.
No matter how much you love your partner, your own sanity comes first. This relationship can easily turn into a toxic one and cause you real damage. Since you’ve been there for them all this time, they may perceive you as their savior. You’ve always been the one who calmed them down and held them when they were feeling down. They’ve become overly attached and it’s gone to extremes.
