Both individuals in the relationship need to be well-educated about borderline personality disorder and the kinds of symptoms it can cause. This can help prevent emotions from running high and confusion from causing strain in the relationship. If both partners understand that certain behaviors are due to their mental illness it can help them avoid many misunderstandings.
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Taking steps towards healthier relationships means having a plan for self-care and putting effort into building trust and communication. Each partner needs to do what they can to make the relationship work and be able to cope with setbacks caused by any symptoms. It can take time and hard work but it is always possible to create a stable relationship while managing borderline personality disorder. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional.
It may require a great deal of work from both partners, but long-term relationships and marriages are possible for people with BPD. When a person with BPD senses a shift in their partner’s feelings, whether real or imagined, they may immediately withdraw. They can become angry and hurt over something a person without BPD would not react to. At the same time, people with BPD are sensitive to abandonment or rejection. Many are hyperfocused on perceived signs that a romantic partner isn’t happy or may leave them. Another way to understand how a person with BPD experiences life is to realize they have a more difficult time returning to an emotional baseline.
For example, many men living with BPD also have substance use disorders. Misusing substances can get someone in trouble with the law. If a man goes to prison instead of a place where they could get mental health care, they might not find out they have BPD. This article will talk about what it’s like for men living with borderline personality disorder . It will also help you understand why men are not diagnosed with BPD as often as women are.
I have also never had to deal with the breaking up/making up stuff. Maybe that’s making it easier for me to plan my departure. I also think that a 15 year previous marriage may have tamed my expectations for a once-in-a-lifetime experience this time around. I’m actually lowkey jealous of those of you that had peaceful/long initial stages of love bombing.
Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD)
Both are characterised by difficult interpersonal relationships and the need for external gratification. However, when we look a bit more closely, both conditions have unique symptoms and causative factors. Despite this, it’s not uncommon for people with BPD and NPD to end up in relationships. There is little evidence that antidepressants help with the core symptoms of borderline personality disorder, but they may be useful if there are clear symptoms of depression and anxiety. There is more evidence that mood stabilizers and antipsychotics improve problems with impulse control, aggression or distorted thinking. The benefits are modest and should be weighed against the adverse effects of these drugs.
Can people with Borderline Personality Disorder really love?
Their perceptions of themselves and others can also shift rapidly. Because of the nature of BPD, it has an impact on relationships. Following a treatment plan and consistently working on communication can help with managing the effects that BPD has on relationships.
The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice. First, it’s important to remember that despite these intense and disruptive symptoms, people with BPD are frequently good, kind, and caring individuals. Often they have many positive qualities that can make them great romantic partners some of the time. This is why it’s a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.
During my second year of uni, before my diagnosis, I fell in love with someone after three days. The feeling was so intense that I was on my knees, fists clenched, softly punching the floor. It felt like physical pain not to be able to see this person, to tell them constantly how I felt and garner some sort of equal reaction. I thought this was me being passionate; unique in my ability to love someone so completely.‘No one will ever love you as much as I do’sounded so true, so romantic. All I could think about was being in love and how it could heal me.
“Rather than seeing everything in black and white, therapy helps people with borderline personality disorder learn to live with ambivalence,” says Dr. Baskin. While historically challenging to treat, borderline personality disorder is often successfully addressed by mental health professionals with counseling and possibly medication. People often dismiss borderline personality disorder as mere moodiness, but it’s more than that.
Pushing People Away
Thankfully I came to understand he had BP and found this sub. Things are OK for the past few months in my relationship. I think he is trying to regulate his emotions and be responsible for his own feelings. https://mydatingadvisor.com/ I stayed and fell deeper in love and the hurt just became worse and worse. I was left confused and broken after a year and a half and she actually started to enjoy destroying me once she knew she had me.
They may focus all their attention on you, singing your praises, and demanding your attention. They might see only the positives and feel you correspond to their interest and feelings. At the start of the relationship, your partner with BPD might tend to idealize you and everything you do. There are different ways to manage these challenges, though, and learning more about the condition could help. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.
Around a few months in like you, I was telling myself I could handle it and it wasn’t effecting me and I was manipulated into moving in with her. I had no idea what it was all actually doing to me and my brain in the end. I’m still broken and think about how terrible it all was everyday and every time I wake up and it’s been three months since I’ve actually seen or talked to her. I can’t wait until it’s all a distant memory but I have a feeling it will always be a scar on my soul. The worst part is that I will never get an apology for anything and am still left wondering what was a lie and what wasn’t and the confusion of missing the personality that was good and sweet.
But I now understand that I need to keep clear, leave her be and get on with my life. Thank you Rick for a chance to understand where I’m at. My advice for you is actions speak louder than words.